Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Congratulations! We have a period
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