ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
