My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Randomize
