Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
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