Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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