hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
i would punch a child for taco bell
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
