I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I just gargled with NyQuil
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