Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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