D3 body, D1 cock
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Randomize
