News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
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