Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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