Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
