D3 body, D1 cock
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
