Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Found your dick twin last night
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
