its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
