i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
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