so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Randomize
