People in love make me want to vomit
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Randomize
