I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Vodka?
Forever.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
