I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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