So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Randomize
