I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Be still, my beating vagina.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
You ate ashes out of my bong
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
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