In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize