So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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