cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Randomize
