In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
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