The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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