she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize