I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
