i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
