i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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