I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I feel like abortions should bother me more
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
