So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Randomize
