I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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