oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
