oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
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