so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
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