even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Randomize
