we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Randomize