Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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