Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
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