yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
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