ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Randomize
