Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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