Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Randomize
