my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Randomize
