Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
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