Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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