If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Randomize
