idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
The feeling are messing with the penis
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
