Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
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