I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
