I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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