Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
