she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
