i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
