I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
