East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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