Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
