my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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