The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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