I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Randomize
